I find coaching fascinating. I love learning from my clients – it’s definitely a two-way street for me. I learn so much about how others react and respond to situations, which may be different from how I may tackle that same scenario. It’s just fascinating the differences in all of us.

And we are all products of our experiences and societal expectations. Unless we have sought formal learning to help enlighten us, then we tend to do what we have always known or indeed what we think others need/ want from us. Sadly that can back-fire on us at times.

When we have been around people who are inspirational, motivational, kind and brave then we are following in the steps of giants. When the opposite is the case then we are most definitely not.

And that’s a big problem in leadership.

We only know what we know.

We only know what we think we should be doing – and there lies the danger.

Women have worked so hard to get equal opportunities in the world of work, and I think some women have got it all wrong. In their efforts to be ‘powerful’ and ‘empowered’ they seem to think that growing a set of b*lls is what will make them better than their male counterparts. And they’re wrong. All they do is actually belittle themselves. Their people talk about them behind their backs, hating their behaviours and actions. Their people have no respect for them, even though they might be delivering, purely out of the fear that their employees feel – who prefer to avoid any confrontation with their manager – the employee slayer.

Now I’m not for a minute saying that women don’t have a place at the board table – absolutely not, and I will fight for women’s rights all day long. I’m saying that women have inherent skills that make them worthy of being leaders of people. And it’s those skills that will help them get to the Board Room, not the b*ll-breaking attitude of old.

Effective leadership isn’t just about being authoritative and in control. The best leaders are those who can skillfully blend both masculine and feminine energies (and no, this isn’t woo woo!), creating a balanced approach that harnesses the strengths of each. This balance not only makes you a more effective leader but also allows for a more inclusive and harmonious team atmosphere.

What are you talking about Sharon? I hear you say. Well let’s explore a little further by defining what masculine and feminine energies in leadership are.

Masculine Energy in leadership includes traits like assertiveness, decisiveness, strategic thinking, and a strong focus on goals and outcomes. Leaders who embody masculine energy are typically seen as confident and capable of driving results. Does this ring any bells to you? Those female leaders I’ve been talking about demonstrate this masculine energy in abundance, and it’s often experienced more harshly than if it were a man who was leading the team.

On the flip side, Feminine Energy emphasises empathy, collaboration, nurturing, and a focus on relationships and processes (and yes, like it or not, us females have that built into us naturally in our maternal instincts). Leaders with feminine energy are often viewed as supportive, emotionally intelligent, and great at building strong, cohesive teams.

Can you see the divide here? When it’s pointed out it’s clear to see that the traits of masculine energy may be seen as more ‘successful’ than the traits of feminine energy.

It’s important to remember that these energies are NOT about gender. Both men and women can (and should) cultivate a balance of masculine and feminine energies to become well-rounded leaders.

Now I’m not female leader bashing here, although female leaders are my focus. I do expect the same from our male leaders too, so bear with me. My experience and business is about female leadership, and that’s where my lens will focus, but I do caveat that male leaders need to balance their energies too.

You see balancing our energies as a leader has so many benefits. We become:

➡️ Better decision-makers as leaders who mix decisiveness with empathy are more likely to make well-rounded decisions that consider both the goals, and the people involved.

➡️ Better at creating stronger dynamics as a balanced approach creates an inclusive environment where team members feel valued and heard, boosting morale and productivity.

➡️ More adaptable, as leaders who can switch between being directive and supportive are better equipped to handle a variety of situations and challenges.

➡️ Better at increasing opportunities for innovation as we encourage collaboration more,  and nurturing environments often spur creativity and innovative thinking, pushing the team and organisation forward.

Now, I don’t know about you, but setting the reset button is never easy. However, saying that, I do know that once you plant a seed in someone’s mind, then curiosity often follows. People become more aware of their behaviours and often end up calling themselves out on their actions. Once we develop that self-awareness, then we can then begin to change those behaviours, slowly but surely. So here’s some tips to getting you started on changing the dial and beginning to balance your leadership energies to enhance your practice and improve the experiences of your teams, customers and clients. Yes, the ripple effect will reach beyond your team. When:

✨ Setting Clear Goals and Expectations:

• Use your masculine energy to establish clear objectives and benchmarks for your team.
• Balance this with feminine energy by communicating these goals empathetically and considering the team’s input and concerns.

✨ Making Decisive Decisions:

• When quick decisions are needed, draw on your masculine energy to act confidently.
• Balance this by reflecting on how these decisions impact your team, showing consideration and understanding. You may wish to listen to your intuition because you will feel in your gut whether the decision is right and aligned to your values.

✨ Encouraging Collaboration and Innovation:

• Use feminine energy to foster a collaborative environment where everyone feels their contributions are valued. Do not speak over your team, give them their place and let all their voices be heard. If you want to develop ideas even further, ask them coaching-style questions to dig deeper into the how, what, where, when and who questions, which will show your curiosity and interest in their ideas.
• Balance this with masculine energy by guiding the collaboration towards achieving strategic goals.

✨ Practising Empathy and Active Listening:

• Develop your feminine energy by actively listening to your team’s concerns and showing empathy.
• Balance this by using masculine energy to take decisive actions based on the feedback you receive. In a process of change this is important, but you need to ask for that feedback – beware, initially you mind not get honest feedback – that leopard is still to change its spots!

✨ Cultivating Emotional Intelligence:

• Enhance your feminine energy by being aware of your own emotions and those of your team members. Show and demonstrate genuine concern and put the well-being of your people at the heart of what you do. Nothing will be achieved without your people, so treat them as priority.
• Use masculine energy to manage these emotions effectively, keeping your focus and composure under pressure. Know how to regulate your own emotions so that you remain in control and composed. Often overwhelmed people find stressful situations difficult to manage, so find techniques that work for you to stay grounded and composed.

To know how you are getting on with it all, you need to self-reflect. It’s essential because if you don’t, when times get busy and stressful you will naturally revert to default and very quickly you can undo any of the good work you have already done and be back at square one, as a result of one poor move with your team.

If you truly want to be the leader you aspire to be, then you need to put in the work, and that comes in the shape of asking yourself regular questions about your progress. These simple questions will help you focus and get perspective:

⚡️ Which energy do I naturally lean towards in my leadership style?

⚡️ How can I incorporate more of the opposite energy to achieve balance?

⚡️ What impact does my current energy balance have on my team and their performance?

⚡️ How do my team members respond to different energies in various situations?

So to conclude, balancing masculine and feminine energies in leadership isn’t about sticking to stereotypes or choosing one style over another. It’s about being:

• adaptable;
• self-aware, and;
• committed to growing as a leader.

By consciously blending both energies, you can create a dynamic, responsive, and inclusive leadership style that not only drives success but also creates a positive and thriving workplace culture, and that’s a win, win in my book!

Remember, the journey to balanced leadership is ongoing. This is not a simple course you go on and you’ve ticked that box. No.

This is a lifetime’s work.

Regularly assess and adjust your approach to find the right mix that works for you and your team.

Embrace the strengths of both energies and watch as your leadership effectiveness, team satisfaction, and overall organisational success soar.

If you’d like to check out how I can support you as a 1:1 Coach, then please do visit my coaching page on the website.