Sometimes I wonder about our minds and our bodies, how they both often get in our way and seem to work against us rather than for us. An example might be when on a diet and you just can’t say no to a cream cake with that coffee! Why is it our bodies and minds make it so hard for us when we need them to make choices and situations easier? It seems so counterproductive.

Why do we often think small when we should think expansively and positively? We often put ourselves down and think we can’t do something we might want to do, telling ourselves:

• Who do I think I am?
• I can’t possibly do that!
• I’m just no good at that!
• I’m not worthy of that – I don’t deserve it.

We are bound by limiting beliefs that exist to keep us (apparently) safe. They’re there to stop us feeling the impact of potential failure, so in essence they are a helpful resource. However, those limiting beliefs also hold us back, and they can become self-fulfilling. For example, if you begin that weight loss programme full of good intentions, you might initially be optimistic and full of positivity: ‘I want to be slim for the summer and look amazing on the beach, two dress sizes smaller than now’. But eventually that motivation dwindles, hunger sets in, and your lack of confidence and self-belief become overtaken by your limiting beliefs taking control of your mindset. You might find yourself saying:

• Who do I think I am trying to be slim for summer?
• I’ve never been successful at losing weight, it just won’t happen this time round.
• I can’t lose weight; I don’t have the willpower.

…. or statements that are similarly damaging to our self-belief. Those limiting beliefs grow in magnitude as you fail at losing weight, and then the self-professing prophecy sets in: ‘I told you so, I’m useless’ which then magnifies the limiting belief further.

We need to step out of our own way to make impactful positive changes on our mindset and to reduce or even remove those limiting beliefs. So how do we go about doing that?

The thing is we like and crave certainty in life. Certainty is reassuring and feels safe, and limiting beliefs and certainty go hand in hand in keeping us safe. But they also stop us from living our best lives, such as doing things we always desired: starting afresh with our careers or relationships; jumping on a plane and move across the world; lose those two dress sizes to wear the bikini you’ve always wanted to wear; or, whatever.

A great coaching tool to help us think about our lives is to consider what we might think of our lives when we look back at our life once we are elderly. We should ask ourselves the following or similar questions that provide us the opportunity to reflect:

• Looking back, what might we make of our life?
• How would we want it to be?
• Have we lived it to our fullest capacity?

You see we only have one life, and we need to be the ‘architects of our own lives’ and ensure we create the life we desire. This can be a very empowering exercise and one to make you sit up and take stock of your current circumstances, the trajectory you are on and really help you consider and question whether there is more in life for you.

We also need to start listening to our own internal dialogue. Humans tend to be negative, and this negativity is reinforced every time we speak internally to ourselves. We reinforce again and again our limiting beliefs. Instead, we should try to identify the negative discourse we have, stop ourselves in our tracks and then begin to question those statements:

• What evidence do we have to say this about ourselves?
• When have we been successful at other difficult things?

Really think about all the positive things you’ve achieved and start talking positively and kindly when you talk to yourself in your head. Believe and trust in yourself, and if by magic, you will feel braver and more motivated and your limiting beliefs all of a sudden feel less limiting.

If you are reading this and thinking this is where I am just now, and you need some help in stepping out of your own way, then please get in touch. You can arrange a free 15-minute Discovery call with me to chat things through with me and see if I’m the person to help you overcome your challenges and limiting beliefs. So, click this link to make that free appointment. I look forward to speaking with you then.